We often say that honesty is the best policy. But people rarely judge credibility based on facts alone. We interpret body language, uncertainty, experience, and intuition. Over the years, I have repeatedly experienced that having an answer for everything can create more skepticism than trust. It made me reflect on why we often trust people who acknowledge their limitations more than those who appear flawless.
Why Perfection Can Undermine Trust
I remember a situation at work where I had an answer to every question a customer asked. I felt like the perfect advisor. The more questions that came, the more answers I had. But after a while, I noticed that the customer seemed more skeptical than reassured. Their expressions and follow-up questions suggested that something wasn’t quite right. That’s when I realized that the problem might not have been my answers, but the fact that I appeared a little too certain.
That’s when I decided to change my approach. The next time a customer asked a specific question, I replied: “I’m actually not sure about that, but I’ll find out for you.”
And you know what? It worked. Not just because I came back with a good answer later, but because it showed that I wasn’t trying to be superhuman. When we admit that we don’t know everything, we show that we’re willing to be honest even when we don’t have the answer.
This isn’t just my experience. Research shows that perfectionism can have far greater consequences than many of us realize. A comprehensive review of 43 studies found that perfectionists face a higher risk of burnout. The pursuit of perfection can drain our energy, but it can also influence how others perceive us. When the goal becomes appearing flawless, we risk hiding the very qualities that make us human. No one likes Mr. Perfect. We connect with people, not facades.
Perfectionism in Communication: When Clarity Becomes a Challenge
This issue of perfectionism isn’t just about what we do. It’s also about how we communicate. One thing I’ve learned is that the way we express ourselves can create unintended barriers. Ironically, I’ve often experienced that people hesitate to offer advice or feedback precisely when I’m uncertain and need their help the most.
I’ve been told that I’m clear and direct in my communication, which many people see as a strength. But that same clarity can sometimes become a barrier. The more clear and well-structured we appear, the easier it becomes for others to assume we’ve already reached a conclusion.
When I seek advice, I can unintentionally give the impression that I already have the answer. Even when I’m genuinely uncertain, I tend to communicate in a structured and thoughtful way. That can make people reluctant to offer suggestions simply because they assume I don’t need them.
This is something I’ve been working to become more aware of. I’ve received feedback that I’m easy to follow but difficult to challenge. While that’s probably meant as a compliment, it’s not necessarily an advantage. I actually want to be challenged, because growth comes through questions, feedback, and alternative perspectives. Even when I’m uncertain, my communication style or body language can make me appear more confident than I really am. It’s a form of “communication perfectionism” – a desire to be clear and structured that can paradoxically create distance between people.
What I’ve learned is that clarity and vulnerability must go hand in hand. When I genuinely want input, I now try to make that explicit. For example, I might say: “I’m actually uncertain about this, and I need your input to move forward.” Or: “I know I may sound confident, but I’d really appreciate your help in seeing this from a different perspective.”
Experience has taught me that it’s not enough to ask for feedback. People must also feel safe giving it. If we come across as though the conclusion has already been reached, many people will choose to stay silent. If we want the best ideas, the most honest feedback, and the most valuable counterarguments, we need to show that we’re genuinely open to being influenced by what others have to say.
Why Credibility Isn’t About Having All the Answers
Many people believe that credibility comes from having an answer for everything. My experience suggests the opposite. Some of the most credible people I’ve met are those who know when to let others contribute. Sometimes it’s better to say, “Let me bring in a colleague to explain that in more detail,” even when you already know the answer yourself. It’s not about lacking expertise. It’s about being confident enough to recognize the expertise of others.
You’ve probably seen this in television news broadcasts. The presenters often know the answer to the question they’re asking an expert, but by bringing in other voices they build credibility through what is often referred to as shared authority. When multiple experts contribute their knowledge, the message becomes stronger than if a single person were delivering it alone.
Research on trust and relationships shows that trust is a fundamental requirement for healthy relationships, both professionally and personally. Sharing authority, such as bringing in a colleague to answer a question, signals professionalism and collaboration.
Self-Taught and Curious: The Strength of Broad Knowledge
I’m the kind of person who knows a little about a lot of things and tends to have an opinion on most topics. But this breadth of knowledge can sometimes create the wrong impression. It may look as though I’m a walking encyclopedia, or worse, trying to be one. The truth is that I often know just enough to connect the dots, but rarely enough to claim deep expertise. And yes, I often Google things the moment a conversation is over, because learning is not just an interest for me. It’s a necessity.
This curiosity and ability to learn have followed me throughout every role I’ve had. I’m self-taught, having learned through experience across a wide variety of roles and environments. I’ve worked in media, as a paragliding instructor, and as an IT/AV technician at the University College of Tromsø. Later, I joined Avikom/Easymeeting, where we competed in a global market and operated in a constant state of change. I held roles ranging from installer and support technician to operations, sales, and management, all of which required adaptability and the ability to learn quickly.
After that, I worked as a Sales Engineer at StarLeaf, and for the first time in many years, I could take a small step back. After years of increasing responsibility, expanding workloads, and the constant need to learn new things, it was refreshing to immerse myself in a more specialized field. Many people wondered why I moved from Product Manager to Sales Engineer, but for me, it has never been about titles. It’s about applying knowledge where it creates the most value. My previous experiences allowed me to connect different disciplines and find effective solutions. That brought both a sense of accomplishment and the satisfaction of helping customers.
This background has taught me that even when I don’t know everything, I often know enough to find a way forward. And when I don’t, I know where to look.
Why It’s Important to Switch Off
My work has always been a passion. That’s a wonderful thing, but it also means I’m a little “occupationally damaged.” Even when I watch a movie, I find myself analyzing situations and connecting them to work.
Living in the moment without feeling that everything has to mean something is something I still work on. It’s as if my mind is constantly searching for the next lesson, the next connection, or the next idea. While that can be rewarding, it can also be exhausting to never give yourself permission to simply be.
The exception is paragliding. Up in the air, distractions disappear, and it’s just me, the wind, and the moment. For me, it’s a way to find balance and a reminder to see life from new perspectives, quite literally. It provides both recreation and a sense of achievement, while also serving as an exercise in trust—trust in my own judgment, the conditions around me, and my ability to adapt to changing circumstances. Not least, it’s a highly social activity.
It has made me reflect on the importance of having something in life that is completely different from what you do every day. If you work with computers, blogging in front of another screen may not be the best way to switch off. It can easily feel like more of the same. Research shows that perfectionism and the constant pressure to perform can increase the risk of mental health challenges, particularly among people who place high demands on themselves. Perhaps that’s why it’s so important to find something that allows us to be present without performing, analyzing, or learning. Switching off is not the same as giving up. Sometimes it’s exactly what we need to recharge.
A bit like this website, which I originally started to strengthen my CV, but which gradually became something more. It gave me a sense of purpose and a way to stay up to date, even during periods when I wasn’t employed. Today, it has become both a learning platform and a place where I reflect and share experiences.
The Strength of Not Being Perfect
We often say that honesty is the best policy. Over the years, however, I’ve become increasingly focused on something else: credibility.
Credibility isn’t about being flawless, having all the answers, or always appearing confident. In my experience, trust is often built in those moments when we’re willing to say, “I don’t know,” listen to other perspectives, or admit that we were wrong.
Perfection creates distance. Being human creates connection.
