We like to think of ourselves as rational beings. That we make decisions based on facts, experience, and strategy. But in reality, there’s often one invisible factor guiding us more than we like to admit: the ego.
Did you know the word ego comes from the Greek ἑγώ (egō), meaning simply I?
In Latin it kept the same meaning, and from there it found its way into modern language and psychology.
I’m currently learning Greek, and it struck me how ironic it is – that a word that simply points to the self has become a symbol of everything that makes us lose it.
The ego isn’t necessarily something negative.
It can be the driving force that helps us stand tall, believe in our abilities, and dare to aim high.
It takes courage to see yourself without filters – and even more to admit it out loud.
I wrote about something similar in When You Dare to Say It Out Loud, where the theme was standing for the truth even when it costs you.
But that same ego can also become our greatest obstacle, when the need to protect the self overshadows the desire to create something greater than ourselves.
How Do Greeks Say “Self-absorbed”?
Siden vi på norsk sier at noe er «gresk for oss», må jo grekerne ha sitt eget uttrykk. De sier nemlig aIn Norwegian, we say something is “Greek to us.” The Greeks, however, say something is “Chinese.” And just as they have that expression, they also need a different word for ego – because in Greek (ἐγώ) it simply means I.
They do, however, have several words for what we associate with a big ego:
- εγωκεντρικός (egokentrikós) – egocentric, self-centered
- αλαζονικός (alazonikós) – arrogant or self-important
- φίλαυτος (phílautos) – “loving oneself,” meaning self-satisfied or egoistic
They describe different shades of the same thing: when confidence in oneself tips over into the belief that one always knows best.
When Being Right Becomes More Important Than Doing Right
Have you noticed how some discussions are never about finding a solution – only about winning?
When the goal becomes being right instead of getting it right, progress stops.
It happens in boardrooms, in projects – and in relationships.
The ego seeks recognition, not learning.
And that’s a poor strategy when the real goal is to create results together.
That’s exactly what I reflected on in Give Advice Without Owning the Truth.
The Downside of Control
A strong ego likes control. It wants to know, decide, and own.
But control and trust rarely go hand in hand.
We’ve all met the manager who says, “I trust you,” yet still asks to be copied on everything.
The more you try to control, the less room others have to contribute – and the less effective you all become.
The best leaders know that true strength lies in letting go of the need to have the last word.
Because when people are given ownership, that’s when the magic happens.
Explain why something should be done, not how it should be done.
When Prestige Kills Learning
The ego doesn’t like being wrong. It dislikes being corrected or challenged.
But without mistakes, we don’t learn.
The most learning-oriented organizations are usually the ones that dare to say:
“This didn’t work – let’s find out why.”
In those places, failure isn’t dangerous, it’s necessary.
Because behind every misstep lies valuable insight – if you can see past your pride, that is.
Maybe that’s why we learn the most from those who dare to say, “I don’t know.”
Results Are About Collaboration
Ego seeks status.
Results are built through collaboration.
When you let go of the need to be the smartest person in the room, you open the door to something far more powerful: collective intelligence.
That’s when both ideas and people grow.
Listening isn’t a sign of weakness – it’s a sign of confidence.
And confidence creates space for growth.
The Two Sides of Ego
The ego can be both a driving force and a brake.
It can give strength, courage, and determination – but also noise, pride, and rigidity.
The key lies in knowing the difference:
When your ego drives you forward, and when it pulls you away from what truly matters.
In Short
The ego wants to win. Results want to evolve.
Real strength may not lie in taming the ego, but in recognizing when it helps you – and when it stands in your way.
The ego needs an audience. Results need collaboration.
And the two rarely share the same stage.
In working life, ego rarely shows itself as arrogance.
It hides in subtle patterns: the need to be right in meetings, the urge to defend your ideas, or the fear of being challenged.
But in teams where trust and psychological safety are present, the opposite happens – people share more, listen more, and learn faster.
Because ego is individual, but results are always collective.
And that’s where great workplaces differ from poor ones – not in the level of competence, but in the ability to use it together.
If you’d like to read more about how trust and collaboration create room for growth, you can find the article When Two Open Minds Meet here.
