We Negotiate All the Time. Not just over contracts, salaries, or major decisions – but also over who does the dishes, what’s for dinner, where to shop, and how we balance our own needs with those of others. Life is one continuous negotiation, whether we realize it or not. To me, negotiation isn’t just a skill – it’s a philosophy rooted in creating value for everyone involved. I’ve always believed in having an open mind; when you stop limiting what’s possible, you’ll often find creative compromises where others see only roadblocks.
A Negotiator Without a Box
My approach to negotiation is closely tied to how I view the world. There’s a reason my site is called Open Mind: I’ve never been confined by rigid frameworks or traditional methods. I believe in flexibility, curiosity, and creative problem-solving.
Maybe that stems from how I grew up – having to rely on myself, find my own answers, and learn by doing. When you search long enough for a solution, you often discover something even better along the way.
This ability to see options where others see limits is at the very core of good negotiation. It’s about understanding the needs behind the positions, looking for common ground, and using creativity to find solutions no one else has thought of.
Also read the article: The Secret to Life, the Universe and Everything: Everything Is Negotiable.
Honesty as a Negotiation Tactic
One of the most valuable lessons I’ve learned is that honesty can turn conflict into opportunity.
Once, I was in a tough negotiation with an unhappy customer who wanted to return a technology solution delivered by a previous salesperson. They came prepared for battle – with lawyers and the Consumer Council in tow. After listening to their frustrations, I realized the technology wasn’t the issue – they simply lacked the time and skills to manage it.
Instead of going on the defensive, I chose honesty:
«I have to admit, we’re not entirely happy with you as a customer either.»
The room fell so quiet you could probably hear the lawyers’ hearts skip a beat. But before anyone could react, I added:
«The reason is simple: we live off happy customers. And if you’re not happy, we feel like we’ve failed»
That open, honest approach defused the conflict and opened the door to a new solution: a service agreement where we took over the management. Ironically, that deal turned out to be more profitable than the original one, and the customer not only stayed – they signed an extended contract. This just goes to show how honesty can not only resolve tension, but also create new opportunities for growth and added value.
Sales and Customer Service: Negotiation in Action
The Key to Great Customer Service
Good negotiation isn’t limited to boardrooms; it happens every time you talk to a customer. Customer service is about understanding what the customer truly needs – and how to either meet or recalibrate expectations in a way that benefits both sides.
- Listen actively: Many conflicts arise simply because the customer doesn’t feel heard.
- Be solution-oriented: Focus on what can be done, rather than on what can’t.
- Build trust: Be open about what’s possible and what’s not – and offer real choices.
Handled well, a dissatisfied customer can become far more loyal than one who never had a complaint to begin with.
Sales – The Ultimate Negotiation Arena
In sales, negotiation is at the heart of everything. It might be about pricing, delivery terms, product specs – or something entirely different. The best salespeople know:
- Ego must step aside: It’s not about winning arguments, but identifying needs and offering the best possible solution.
- Flexibility is strength: The ability to adjust – whether it’s price, service level, or product details – shows you’re committed to finding middle ground.
- Honesty builds credibility: Being transparent about limitations and options creates lasting trust
Ego – The Biggest Enemy of Negotiation
The opposite of a successful negotiation is a deadlock. A perfect example? I once watched a political debate where the party leaders seemed to completely disagree. But watching it again, I realized: they actually agreed on the solution. They just weren’t willing to let go of their egos and give the other side credit.
They wasted 40 minutes arguing over the problem, while silently agreeing on the solution.
This is a classic negotiation trap – people focus more on being right than on finding a way forward. When pride gets in the way, negotiation becomes a power struggle instead of a path to progress.
Flexibility Creates Win-Win Outcomes
Negotiation is not just about taking sides – it’s about being flexible enough to discover new possibilities. Before entering any negotiation, ask yourself:
- What’s my main goal?
- Where can I be flexible?
- What’s non-negotiable?
The best deals are often the ones where both sides give a little – and get something valuable in return. As a former colleague once said:
“The best negotiations are when both parties leave a little dissatisfied – that’s how you know it’s been fair.”
Pragmatism and Flexibility – Keys to Success
Negotiation often means being pragmatic – focusing on what works today rather than chasing the unattainable perfect. As the French philosopher Voltaire put it:
«Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good»
In my professional life, especially in sales and service, I’ve learned that you often have to balance quality, price, customer needs, company resources, and timelines. The “perfect” offer might be impossible to deliver – which means success lies in negotiating something realistic that still works well for both parties.
Also read: When Perfect Becomes the Enemy of Good.
Simplicity vs. Security – A Balancing Act
At first, I was going to write that security is non-negotiable. But then I realized – we negotiate even here.
When I worked with service development, our goal was to make the product both secure and user-friendly. But simplicity and security often pull in opposite directions. You can put four locks on your front door – one with a code, one with a key, one with facial recognition, and one with a fingerprint scanner. You’ve traded usability for security – and made it a chore to get in and out.
So we usually compromise: one good lock is enough. It gives us peace of mind and practicality. In the same way, a digital service can be highly secure, but too complex to use. The trick is finding a balance that makes users feel safe while still offering an intuitive experience.
Waiting for the Teleporter? Nope.
Technology is a never-ending negotiation between what’s possible and what’s desirable. We went from snail mail to telegraph, phone, email, and video calls. Had we just sat around waiting for the “perfect” solution – say, a teleporter – we’d still be stuck in the past.
Instead, we negotiated our way forward with better and better communication tools.
We find the best possible solution within our current limits – accepting some constraints while pushing for small improvements that move us forward.
In Summary: How to Keep Negotiations Flowing
- Be open and honest: Say what you think – constructively.
- Listen to understand: Most conflicts begin when no one feels heard.
- Build trust through solutions: Focus on what can be done, not just what can’t.
- Work with today’s reality: Don’t wait for teleporters. Keep evolving.
- Give to get: Great negotiations involve compromise – both sides should gain something valuable.
Negotiation isn’t about winning – it’s about moving forward together, toward something that adds lasting value. Whether you’re in sales, customer service, project management – or just planning dinner – remember: almost everything is negotiable.
Almost. Because there are exceptions. Some situations are fixed. Some agreements are absolute. And some people just aren’t willing to bend. But even then – it’s openness, pragmatism, and human understanding that often unlocks the impossible.
Want to keep negotiating? Get in touch – let’s find the next solution together.
